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As the sun barely peeks over the horizon, London preps for the annual Trooping the Colour parade, where the British monarchy flexes its muscles in front of a crowd that seems more interested in selfies than in history. Set for June 14th, 2025, at 4:15 am EDT—because what’s a little sleep when you can witness the absurdity of royal tradition? This event, parading the official birthday of the monarch, is a striking reminder of how far removed the royals are from the common folk.
The event schedule: a wake-up call for the absurd
Let’s break down the schedule because, honestly, who doesn’t want to know when to roll out of bed to watch a bunch of overprivileged folks strut their stuff?
- 4:30 am EDT: Live starts—because who needs sleep?
- 5:30 am: The Horse Guard Parade—watch them parade around like they own the place.
- 7:25 am: The Royal Family returns to Buckingham Palace—like they’re the only ones important enough to come home.
- 7:55 am: The Royal Family on the balcony—cue the waving like it’s some sort of divine right.
- 8:00 am: Royal flypast by the RAF—because nothing says ‘we’re still relevant’ like military jets flying over.
The absurdity of it all
Certainly, the parade is a magnificent display of pageantry and tradition—if you can overlook the blatant privilege dripping from every royal uniform. It’s a vivid reminder of the monarchy’s failure to connect with the realities of modern Britain.
Are we really expected to cheer for a family that’s been living off the taxpayer’s dime while the rest of the country struggles? This isn’t just a parade; it’s a slap in the face to those living paycheck to paycheck.
The royals might see it as a charming tradition, a way to remind the nation of its glorious past, but let’s be real: it’s just fancy dress-up for adults who can’t seem to let go of their fairy tale.
In a time when people are losing their jobs, homes, and sanity, watching a bunch of nobles prance around on horseback is about as relevant as a flip phone.
Let’s get real: what’s the point?
What’s the takeaway here? That we should all aspire to a life of pomp and circumstance? Or perhaps it’s a reminder that some people are simply born into privilege, while the rest of us are stuck in the grind. The monarchy offers nothing but a gilded cage of outdated traditions that many are beginning to see through. The question isn’t whether we should celebrate Trooping the Colour, but rather why we still feel we must.
Confronting the monarchy’s absurdity
As we gear up to witness this spectacle, one can’t help but feel a twinge of resentment. The royals parade around, flaunting their wealth and history, while the everyday citizen grapples with life’s harsh realities. Isn’t it a bit rich to celebrate such excessive pageantry when so many are struggling? Perhaps instead of clapping and cheering, we should be throwing tomatoes at the very idea of monarchy.
So, as you sip your overpriced coffee and watch the spectacle unfold, ask yourself: what are we really celebrating? A dynasty built on centuries of privilege or the continued survival of an outdated institution? Because let’s be honest, the only color being trooped here is the one lining their pockets. But hey, who are we to judge? It’s a royal affair after all.
